#18 And In Your Dream, It's Time to do the Best You Can Now

After my last post, my friend IMed me on AIM and started talking to me again. He said that he missed being able to talk to me and being friends with me. He said he realized how "it's so messed up that we're avoiding you". After that, he explained to me why everyone was leaving me out.
I called one of the girls "spoiled" right after her best friend called her that. She was hurt by that comment, but I don't see why being spoiled is a bad thing. But I apologized to her and I think she understands and she wants to talk with me again. She's afraid that if she talks to me, the others will feel 'betrayed'. High school is so stupid. These petty drama that are blown out of proportion.

My friend that first talked to me will probably be messed up and maybe get mad at me, but it's what I really think. I love my friends and they kept me company for a long time and filled me with memories and laughs, but sometimes...it's just tiring to hear what they have to say about the silliest things. However, I know it's silly, but maybe they're right...maybe I am too mature for my age. I try to live like how they see things, but it makes me feel stupid because it's really useless sometimes. Oh well, it's fun being with them...so I'll try to be stupid more? Haha.

Another friend of mine (she's in the whole group) is mad at me because someone (another boy in our little group) told her that I blamed her for having the group fall apart. I never said that. I think she's taking my place...but I don't think she's tearing it apart. Anyways, that boy gossips so much. More than a lot of girls that I know. But whatever, it's him. One day, gossip with bite him right back.

Last night, I cut my side bangs and now they're fringes. Everyone said it looked horrible on me, but I fixed it up after I got home today and I don't think it looks too bad. I thought that I don't care about how I look, but lately, it seems like I actually care a lot. Well, I just don't want to look like an idiot with my hair messed up. It's only the hair that I really care about. Haha.

Today was a lot better because I actually talked with some of the people in my group. However, I still took the train separately from them, but that was alright because I still talked to them! It's time for me to do my best and mend our broken bridge and I'm gonna fix it up so it'll never break again!

I guess that's it for today. =) I'll update more when there's more to say.
Thanks if you're reading.

Comment? Or not.

Love,
Jay