#47 My Heart as a Souvenir

I've been having amazing days lately. Days that I think I've been taking for granted or that I feel like I'm bringing down due to my own tiredness. Haha. I wish I knew how to up my mood more.

Two weekends ago, I celebrated my birthday. I took everyone to karaoke and treated them to dinner at Carmine's. I love Italian food, so I really really enjoyed eating. I was really happy that everyone enjoyed eating and singing. Well, except for the first half - my friend was kind of pooping my party. But it was all because she wanted me to give her attention, she told me. I understand. Haha. I guess I'm not good at balancing friends as I credit myself for.

Last weekend, on the 13th, I skipped my psychology class. But only cause it was raining really hard and I was extremely tired. I felt like I needed a day off - so I took it. Later that night, I went to my friend's birthday party and met a lot of people there. They were all from her school and I didn't know anyone there. I felt kind of like an outcast, but not really. I talked to majority of them, but they mostly kept together.

In the beginning of the party - well, before the party started, my friend was really stressed because a lot of people didn't know how to get there. Their parents refused to drive them because of the bad weather, so she had to figure out a way to get them all to her party. She ended up being late to her own party and apologized so much to her parents and her friends. Then, her friend showed up and was mad at her - which was really messed up. No matter how angry you are at them, you always and must be happy for your friend, especially a party as big as a Sweet 16.

My friend started crying and I comforted her inside the room while her friend was outside. Then I went outside and kind of scolded her. She got the idea and started being a good sport and everything fell into place. Her party ended up being fun and she enjoyed it. =)

I felt really good because I socialized and helped her with her party. My party didn't really go the way I wanted, but I tried very hard to not let that one friend ruin my night. So I'm happy that I can help her.

I met this one guy who was really just sitting by himself when everyone was prank calling someone they didn't like. When I asked him why he didn't join them, he said he didn't want to be part of the haters. I liked that. A lot. Cause secretly in my head, I was thinking that they were being very stupid for pranking someone like that. I kind of just sat with him and we played cards. It was kind of a kodak moment and he was witty.

I want to talk to him more - so I found him on facebook and got his screen name for AIM. But when I IMed him, I froze completely.
Odd.
How does one wanna talk to someone so much, but freeze when the moment comes? It really is odd. When I find out how this science works, I'll let you know. ;).

Oh, I hate losing an hour. It fucks up my biological clock, by like, a lot. When I wake up at 4:40 AM now, I'm so hyper, because my "sleeping mode" hasn't kicked in and thinks that it's "napping mode". Am I making sense? Don't think I am. But when I'm in school, I'm ready to hit the hay by the time lunch is here. Just gotta get used to everything - that's what life mostly is. Accessing and adapting.

I'm an overthinker. How do I stop overthinking? That's on my To-Do List. The date of completion is still a work in progress. I'll let you know how it goes. Haha.

That's it for today.

Love,
Jay