#46 Gotta Gotta Be Down, Cause I Want It All

Dunno why I'm writing more blogs these two days...hm.
Must investigate this further.

Anyways, I just got out of my psychology class about an hour ago and I discovered that a lot of the things I write in here are solvable. I just gotta be rational about my situation and become more open. :). For example, right now, the most drama occurring is kinda one-sided. My one side. Which makes me feel pathetic and ignored.
My friend is like the leader of this clique...and I'm kind of pushed aside and my ideas and thoughts get ignored. This makes me the dissenter - as psychologists would say.
I annoy her with my actions...only cause she annoys me with hers. And I guess I'm a little more mean to her because I feel ignored.
I keep trying to convince myself that I don't care whether or not I'm in this stupid clique or not, but I'm pretty sure that some part of me wishes I was accepted. Well, not accepted, but at least to eliminate the tension between us.
Cause you know, everyone follows the leader. If she thinks a boy is cute, even though he's butt-ugly, they will start to think he's cute. But I don't...that's why I'm ignored and I feel this pressure to be one of them. I hate the feeling - so I dispute it by speaking up and pointing out the obvious, which they don't like.

This can be solved - I know it can. I just don't know how yet. I tried to talk to her about it, but she's like, "I know. I don't care."

She thinks I'm making a big deal out of it...but I just really don't want there to be anything up between us. Also, my birthday is coming up - so she's invited, and if she's not there, one group won't be there. I can have fun without them - but I feel like it'll be even more fun with them there.

Alright, end of that crap.

I was cruising around blogger today and noticed that a lot of the blogs here are parents who are recording their babies life.
Why do they do that? Why put them on the internet for people to read about? Not that I'm against it, I'm just really curious.
Cause I put my blogs up so I can release my emotions and get feedback (even though there's like, none) from people. That way I can look back and improve myself.
Well, that's just me.

If you're a parent who does that, let me know why. :D

Love,
Jay