#35 Please Be Sure to Read the Fine Print

I have so much to say, but I am so exhausted and I really need to sleep. So, I will sum everything up in the best way that I can and it probably won't be orderly because I go off in a lot of tangents.

Firstly, I put one of my dogs in a shelter. I have three dogs and one of them was a stray that followed me home. The neighbors always complain about him and my sister doesn't like him a lot either - he's gone now. There's not a single day where I don't think about him. I do miss him and I hope he finds a good home despite his aggression.

OH I FORGOT. HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN!

Okay, secondly - I will try to move on with my love life. I can delay, but time will not wait. I am a person that enjoys living in the moment and I want someone who can do the same; however, he has always been a man of the past - holding onto his ex. But we had an enlightening talk. I have to say, we have quite a unique relationship.
Previously, he forced a confession out of me through instant messaging. He said my confession was lame since it was through the computer. But he meant it in a fun way - we always do. I told him that I'll redo my confession. My big sib from school kind of confessed to him on the computer - she hinted it. He told me that if she confesses before I do, then he might go out with her. I said that's a jerk move to do and that no girl would appreciate him ever. Not even his ex. He told me to forget about who confesses first and to take my time - as if he was doing me a favor.
I got mad and my nasty sarcasm came out just as he was confessing to his ex.

Him: i'm tired of holding back my feelings
Him: i'm talking it all out to her
Me: what's her reaction?
Him: shes not holding back either
Him: this is so scary lol
Him: my heart is pumping
Me: "your confession is lame. on the internet."

But that's just one example. Anyways, at the end, he decided he would definitely move on. He asked me if I wanted to move on. I said I would flip a coin, and I did. Tails would be no, and vice versa. I flipped it about 5 times until it was heads. I just wanted to get on with my life.

The next day, I felt refreshed. Like a chapter of my life ended and a fresh new page is beginning - very little words scrawled on it...and none that were complex and tiring. I love that feeling and I'm sure he felt almost the same way. We were both kind of bursting with exuberance when we saw each other.

However, later, he kept asking if I moved on yet. I actually don't know. It's such a short amount of time - I'm no superman. He confuses me by his actions and his words, so I asked if he wanted me to get over him. If he does, then I am gone for good and I will not look back at our potential relationship.

Me: you either want me to or you don't.
Him: lol
Me: so don't confused me -.-
Him: will u be happy with me?
Me: only if you're not gonna date me outta pity and as a tool to get over your ex.

A lot of times, he asks me things that he should really be asking to himself and then he makes it sound like he's doing it as a favor to me. I know I can do better than him, but I feel as if I need him in my life - it's not crucial, but I feel like I just can't let him pass me by at the moment. But at the same time, I feel as if we would be better just as close friends.

Okay, now - school. School is shit. I hate school because of the work. I'm still in post-summer mode and I want as many vacations as there can be. School is tiring and I am lazy. Those two do not mix.

Enough about school. It's making my mind a little sick. I need a bed and some sleep. Haha.

Thanks for reading my extremely long, good for nothing post!

Love,
Jay