#1

You know, sometimes you don't know what to do with your life. It just seems hopeless and helpless sometimes. And, sometimes, you can't help to think it's your only choice to commit suicide.
I wonder if that's what my mother felt when she attempted that foolish act.

I can't begin to explain how crazed her eyes were and how much she craved for death. Even though I know I couldn't help her, I tried to understand her. What I've learned was that my family, including myself and my half-sister, pushed her to her edge.

So, obviously everyone is born with a positive outlook on life; also, obviously, the outlook changes once you turn seven because that's the age where children begin understanding the world around them. It's the age where you remove the personality that you think isn't suitable to today's society. It's the age where you lock that other half of you away.

Those chipped away memories peel away quickly and you start a new chapter once you turn seven, hardly ever remembering the years before it. But research shows that an average human being recall tragic events clearer than happy and positive events.
If you're happy with most of your life, you'd like to disagree.
If you're weighing more on the unhappy side, you'd agree.
However, if you are happy with you life... you'd most certainly agree if you take a small flashback. All humans would rather seek the positive side rather than negative. But that's already obvious.
So...I wonder why my mother chose to seek the negative side...take the downfall. I wonder.

I guess her final breaking point was when my half-sister's father passed away.
Her doctor explained that her brain was like a balloon of stress. It would fill up until it popped and that news popped the balloon for her. I remember that day like yesterday.

Eh, I won't post the whole story up. Don't really feel like thinking back on it. :)
I'll try some other day where I'm in need for random people to talk to...